No Energy, Eating, Symptom.

i think i eat too much.

i lack energy though, despite eating so much.

as if someone drained my energy, that i've gained from food, somehow.

today, as in past, i lacked strength to stand up and do anything, including eating.

this led me to almost suicide, desperation, despair, insanity, in past.

meditation helped but not for long, and i've ended down in psychiatric hospital.

during that 'lonely despair' 5-year period i wasn't able to do anything else than playing computer games (Mostly: 'Neverwinter Nights 1 / Narfell' & 'Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri / Alien Crossfire'), sleeping and eating in excess.

this occured after reading 'The Three Pillars of Zen' by Philip Kapleau Roshi, not sure if this was true cause of that ordeal or not.