Ego Complex Evolving.

i read that ego is 'i'.

i read that complex is structure in psyche.

i know that ego evolves, not always for better.

i think that beings, things & phenomena i perceive affect me and affect how ego changes.

for now, my 'i' seems to be more than one structure, thoughts seem to clash against other thoughts.

like waves in ocean crashing at each other, but not always as pretty looking or soothing.

i observed 'Mahakala', Protector of Enlightened Love & Enlightenment arising - important structure in psyche.

i do not know if Enlightenment needs external protectors at all.

i observed other 'waves' arising as well, often opposing that 'Mahakala' thoughts & structure.

archetypes & ideas seem like waves, arising in reaction to what happens around me.

sometimes it's quite unpleasant purifying experience (katharsis?), so i have to hide at home to not scare people with my epileptic body reactions & harmful speech articulation that i have little control over.

when archetypes & ideas arise, they affect how i think, talk, (re)act.