'Ex-In' Module 01a/10 - 'Health & Good Mood'; Getting to know each other.

Introduction.

i've enlisted on a course to be a psychotherapist.

It's a way for mentally ill people to help themselves & other mentally ill people using our own experience, as well as some psychological theory, arts & therapeutic group methods.

Details: in this article.

Course consists of 10 modules, each lasting for 3 days, 8 hours each.


Module 01a - 'Health & Good Mood; Getting to know each other'.

During first module we didn't have much of theory. It was mostly exercises related with module's topic, along with explaination & talking about personal experiences after it. This way we could observe how different people experience these, to learn our common points & differencies, to understand others and ourselves, to unite as a group, to see how 'knowledge about us' unfolds.

i am liking this approach, as theory can be read from books - and group exercises are best learned & practiced with other people.

i didn't write in my notes about all of exercises, just of most memorable ones & those that happened in latter stage of the module.

Here's what we did, in short:


1. Interviews & Presentations of the group members.

We paired ourselves with people we know least and talked about ourselves. Then we did present what we did find to others - that's how we were acquainted a little with everyone.


2. Names & Movement.

We went outside, formed a circle & did this exercise. Each of us - including our instructors - spoke a name & added a movement to it, a movement that symbolized & expressed that person. After name & movement was performed, rest of our group followed - spoke name & repeated movement. Then next person did the same and we repeated all names & movements done so far - until all names and moves were executed. Then we did this in reverse direction.

We were told it's a form of 'movement & dance', this was a 'mind-speech-body' mnemonic meant to help us remember our names.

Instructor who introduced us into this exercise is expert at 'movement & dance therapy' - thus our group had this resource, as each of us - both instructors and trainees - added what he or she had best to our group's potential.


3. Symbol of health & of growing healthy.

Each of us drew on a piece of paper our personal symbol of health and growing healthy. Then we paired ourselves with a person we know least (different person than in previous exercise) and talked about meanings. Then we related what we did find out to other members of our group.

This way we started to understand each of us' personal metrics of health, our expectations & process of reaching this state.


4. Pantomime.

We were split into a few of subgroups & given names of movies & native american-styled names to convey by acting without using words or sounds.

Aside from great fun & cooperation, we did learn about nonverbal communication. This example showed us that while stereotypes, known symbols & movie titles are easy to convey, discover & guess, nonverbal communication with unknown people is hard to understand. Once a person is known, it's easier to understand gestures, facial expressions, body language.

We were told that nonverbal communication is one of the topics that we will pay attention to later, as well as an important part of communication & working in a group.


5. Letter to myself.

We wrote a letter to ourselves of how we can care for ourselves, then those who were not too shy - read that message for others' benefits.

We learned that we should take care of ourselves first, then we can help others better.


6. Bringing in something.

We were encouraged to bring something on a course, so others could see & talk. We were told that in next modules we'll talk about these important symbolic items, exact purpose of this exercise should be revealed later.


7. Our strong points.

We were talking with others our strong points, resources we can add for the benefit of our group.

We learned that in a group our personality traits are shared, we can complement each other in a well organized group.

A process of group integration turns individuals into a synergic whole.

That's why Ex-Ins (Experts by Experience) are paired with 'Experts by Education', that's why there usually is more than one of such pairs in a therapeutic, scientific or educational group.


8. Movement Therapy.

With symbolic body movements, breath and voice we were expressing that we absorb good, positive energies and feelings, then using different body movements, breath and voice we were getting rid of negative, harmful, bad things.

Exact copying of moves were not so important - we focused on doing what's a comfortable similarity for us instead. Not everyone participating in therapy has fully healthy body, some have troubles with some exercises, and personal comfort and ease is important for everyone.


9. Acting out Fairy Tales, with a Twist.

We were split into groups and given tasks to act out a childhood tale with narration, but with an alternative ending, with a humorous twist.

Aside from relaxation & cooperation this exercise had a purpose of enhancing our creativity & imagination, it was also a practice of 'getting out of a stereotype', of practicing perceiving thigs from a different perspective. This has uses in a therapy when we will try to understand other patients.

We were asked if we took care of ourselves during this exercise, if our roles were comfortable. (my role was fine with me).

We learned that as soon as we 'put on different glass', our tools & thinking might be no longer useful, no longer convenient. Different people use different means for handling life's situations.


10. How we can take care of others?

We were split into groups and each of groups wrote ideas of how we can help each other.

Our ideas were similar but slightly different, we talked about this for a while.


11. Handling conflicts & difficult situations.

We learned some methods of handling conflicts within our fairly large group, we learned to respect our different responsibilities & roles in a group. Both staff (educators or therapists) as well as customers (trainees and patients) have different responsibilities and roles. For a group exercise to succeed & bring benefit, there has to be respect & a few of formal rules. We learned anarchy does not help, even if psychology allows for some of non-strictness. Our speeches should be essential, related with the subject, to the point - without too much of digression, deviation from subject. Obeying these rules is also respecting the time of ourselves and of others.

Rules and group contracts should be formed & kept to ensure smooth progression of group's goals, but also to ensure that members feel safe in a group.

We learned that group conflicts are best handled early, so 'group's atmosphere won't grow into a giant'.


12. Summary & Parting Ways.

Then we practiced movement, breath & voice exercises to get rid of strong emotions & negativity, summarized our feelings at module's end, talked of how we see possible course's future and parted for now.

Next module will happen in about 3 weeks.

Overall it was great and positive experience - even if emotionally intense; i am looking for course's future with hope & optimism.

Turning Weakness into a Strength, into a Way to Benefit Others.

Is mental illness an end of life, a death of a career?

i know it doesn't have to be.

Career is not everything, ill people can be beneficial even when they are unemployed ... but i think working helps - both the ill person itself, as well as others - if work is not immoral.

Laziness & severing social contacts makes symptoms worsen, lack of money takes away independence & access to many tools for benefitting others. Working professionally can be therapeutic as well - it's contact with others, a motivation for caring for oneself & a source of money among other things - but too much of stress & overworking has opposite effect. Working people have better self-esteem, and can use money to help others as well.

i know i'll share my income with noble causes once i am employed.

i've enlisted on a 'Ex-In' (Experience Involved) course, to be a psychotherapist in future.

It's an international european union's project targeted for mentally ill people.

It was tested & proven success in many nations including Germany - therapies that combined Ex-Ins paired with healthy therapists had more of therapeutical successes than therapies with psychotherapists without illness experiences only.

Project Ex-In tries to involve people after psychological crisis into a psychological support network - we will use our knowledge of mental illness that we have (we know a lot of it, we experience it every day), we will use training exerices (not only theoretical knowledge, but also practical techniques of a therapy) that will fill educational gaps & give us tools.

We will help other mentally ill people, sharing our best experiences, sharing best we have learned in life as well as on a course - both from qualified instructors, but also we'll use best tricks of other students; we will use reason & proven methods of dealing with symptoms, mental illness & associated problems. We will look for employment after the course & after internships are over.

First 8 of 240 planned hours passed today, i will share soon what i can about it. It was a great time, with a lot of positive people, with a lot of positive energy. Privacy & confidentiality are important - we agreed to not reveal group dynamics, names, photos & personal experiences of people involved, but we can share ideas about course, it's methods & goals.

Course is free - it's financed by European Union & 'Leonardo' Foundation, will last until December - it is composed of 10 modules, each lasting for 3 days, 8 hours each day.

Paid internships will happen later, lasting for 6 months in total.

Then we'll be able to look for work, with support of the project's organizers.

i've enlisted for this course to help other people, to improve my karma (i am a Buddhist), as well as to find employment & earn money.

it's also a destigmatisation project, i think this is fairly important as well.

'Every being, no matter healthy or ill - is equally important & valuable' - following & paraphrasing words of one of my therapists.

We do not wish to be better or worse than healthy people, we want equal chances & equal treatment for everyone.


Course consists of 10 modules - each lasting for 3 days, 8 hours each day:

1. Health & Good Mood; Getting to know each other.

Discovering & understanding what is health, discovering what is healthy lifestyle, formulating personal strategies that serve improving psychological health and improving relations with family & social network.

2. Empowerment.

Getting familiar and increasing feeling of inner strength, finding ourselves in everyday life situations, gaining & practicing decision making skills, and negotiating & keeping 'contracts' with other people.

3. Experience & Participation.

Supporting process of being aware of thoughts and behaviors associated with experiences during psychic illness periods, gaining skill of 'reflection' and acquiring 'insight' by talking about ourselves in a group, and by listening to other people.

4. Getting Healthier.

Increasing awareness and reflection on one's own history of getting ill and getting healthier, acquiring knowledge of processess that support getting healthier and about people who regained health; making decision & active entrance into a process of planning one's own getting-healthy-plan.

5. Trialog.

Understanding value of trialog, of cooperation with: a. person with mental ilness experience, b. her or his family and social network, c. professionals (doctor, therapist); this cooperation gives opportunity to discover differing perspectives and views on the same occurances, and in consequence acquiring possibility of getting more effective support on a way to being healthy.

6. Self-Discovery.

Therapists usually don't talk with their clients about their psychotic symptoms, because there's possibility of invoking psychotic symptoms' conents returns. In a consequence, we attempt to treat ill person in a way that does not touch directly neither these painful experiences, nor consequences of illness. Most of people who experiences psychological crisis has a feeling that traditional psychiatry does not perceive and does not understand their experiences, and in fact adds to their distance from society more than it did help. Experiencing symptoms has it's meaning however. Traditional psychiatric operations are focused on limits resulting from illness, instead of supporting patient's need to influence his or her own getting-healthier-process. By the end of this module, participants will be able to share and write about their own mental illness experiences, in a consistent, understandable and structured way; they will get acquainted with various approaches and models that explain psychic disturbances; they will understand basic rules of performing interview that explores one's own experience; will be able to understand better their own experiences associated with mental illness (especially so called psychotic experiences, especially about so called 'hearing voices').

7. Advocacy for mentally ill people.

Equipping people with mental illness experience with neccessary knowlege, skills and competences, required for fulfilling role of advocacy for mentally ill people (for example, by creating associations, leading educational activities, and other), in a way that will allow them to have a real influence on introducing and shaping changes in a healthcare system, in a way that beneficiary's voice is heard when decisions fall - so therapeutic activities are best suited for patients' needs.

8. Rating the Getting-Healthier Process.

Module allows participants of the course to develop knowledge and skills needed for accompanying other people that are experiencing a crisis, to familiarize & understand their situation, to be able to support them with making plans for future and rate getting-healthier process (of their own and of others). Module has also a goal of helping people with mental illness experience to order & structure their thoughts, feelings and to give meaning to experiences resulting from mental illness. It's to teach about introducing best planning strategies for building relations with other people, that will be useful in continuing self-development process.

9. Companionship & Support.

In the Western World, since a long time people with mental illness experience (in remission) are professionally active both in psychological health institutions, advisory, and in influencing quality of psychiatric services. This activity is based on a thought that a person who experienced mental illness understands needs and expectations of his or her own, and of other people touched by the same illness. Supporting person, who is based on his or her own experiences can serve as a positive example model. These people are independent and fulfill role of an expert, who in a way intermediates between professionals (doctors, therapists) and ill people. A person in remission explains and shares knowledge of methods and behaviors that were useful in a getting-healthier process. By the module's end, participants will know rules of supporting mentally ill people, will acquire varied knowledge and meaning of using it in a process of supporting by communication and work put into building relations; Will be able to reflect upon their own style of supporting others.

10. Intervention during a crisis.

Goal of this module is participants acquiring skill of safe performance in a crisis situation, develop empathy, understanding of a crisis and going through difficult life situations. Additional goal is learning of how to support other people who experience different types of crises.


For more about project (in a polish language), feel free to visit: a page.

Problems of the Mad Science.

Problems of the Mad Science by neo-mahakala-108 on deviantART.

Causes & Remedies.

Improvements.

Recently my symptoms lessened significiantly. i started to look actively for employment finally.

i think there are two causes for this improvement:
- a Buddhist Practice,
- being among people.

... that is, when i am all alone in my apartment - after a while my mental illness symptoms worsen, having a TV or the Internet does not help much.


More of the Causes.

Recently i've learned that Depression can be caused either by too much of stress, especially if it happens over long time or even by internal somatic (bodily) illness as an inflammatory condition. Giving a troubled birth can be a cause for depression as well. Mothers who suffered a lot during birth too often reeject or harm their kids and if this happens, they are no longer considered sane. In Poland when a mother harms kids when under that state, she is protected by law and given treatment instead of prison.

Depression can be described with it's symptoms:
- lack of energy,
- low moods,
- fear of leaving home,
- lack of apetite or other extreme - eating in excess,
- lack of interrest in sex,
- lack of motivation to do anything,
- lack of self care,
- lack of motivation for hygiene or even leaving bed,
- ...

Depression can be also a Cause for Psychosis or Schizophrenia as well - it was so in my case as well.

There are medicines (pills) that help to overcome worst states of Depression, there are some successes - but not always these work.

After recovering from worst state using medicines, psychologists's help - psychotherapy should occur next.

Depressions can be caused by external causes such as loss of someone important or other tragedy.

Depressions can be caused by something internal - appearing without apparent cause. This happens, even to apparently succesful people who go ill & degrade without a apparent cause. In case of internal Depression, ill person might or might not be aware of the internal cause(s) - either might not want to reveal it or it might be just too subtle so it eludes his or her understanding, perception, cognition.

Internal Depressions are harder to cure.

Men are more vulnerable to Depression than Women.

Gentle & sensitive people are more vulnerable to Depression than 'tough' types as well... but i think that sensitive people react to Arts stronger, and proper art can help to brighten people's lives, bring mind's calmness and avert depressions.

* 'seven',
* 'Losar'.


What is Worse?

i think in my case Depression was much worse than Schizophrenia.

Thankfully it's over, but there's no guarantee it won't return after years.

What's worse? it depends on severity of symptoms, i think.

Multiple types of mental ilness, including Schizophrenia, Depressions, ... can happen at the same time as well.

Symptoms Still.

i feel very tired since a time, have many voices in head that attack and insult me.

these voices blackmail and manipulate, use insane words and arguments - for example: 'Buddha wishes you to cease cleaning teeth for now'.

these voices are intense, persisting, and appear often, for long times, in large amounts.

they wear me down with constant attacks, then use insidious & clever tricks that make me do things harmful to myself & others when i feel weak & tired.

have troubles controlling spendings, voices make me spend money carelessly & meaninglessly.

i eat too much, i have troubles with cleaning my apartment.

i have troubles with caring enough for personal hygiene as well.

computer games addiction is making symptoms worse, i stopped playing computer games at least ... hope it will stay that way.

with my current state i can't go to work for now, despite that i want.

please wish me recovery, friends.

Symptoms Return.

recently i feel attacked by symptoms, mostly voices that insult & manipulate, harming as well.

i feel forced to write bad words, to do things that harm.

i have troubles keeping myself & my apartment clean as well.

had insight that it's because of others disrespecting & wanting to be 'better than insane person' in the wrong way.

i think many 'so called friends' hinder my progress more than help - they are not friends anymore - it's a Buddhist Lesson that friends, Bodhisattvas help in development instead.

i'll go to psychiatric hospital soon, for 3 months probably, not for the full day-night cycles however, only for half a day during workdays at that.

i hope i'll be able to work professionally in an IT Company after that - that's one of my therapy goals.

i'll try to beneficial at hospital to others, both patients & staff - it's a part of my Karmic Way for Enlightenment anyway - it's a Bodhisattva's Way, anyway.

Returning nature of Mental Illness.

Nature of Shizophrenia (one of many mental illnesses) or Psychosis (lesser form of Shizophrenia more or less) is that it periodically returns.

There are times of Remission (when symptoms are contained, when patient has control, distance & criticism over/toward these), as well the times of illness' symptoms returning with great strength.

Before most miserable state reached, there is the 'warning symptoms' stage usually (not always, occasionally there's very fast progress of symptoms' increase), where therapists, family, friends or even patient himself or herself can see the danger incoming.

'warning stage' is the time to see psychologist, time for temporarily increasing or even changing medicines if organism adapted to these, perhaps as well the time for lesser therapy to avert the worse case of lockdown in full-time hospital for a period of few months.

During this 'warning period' symptoms may gradually or sharply increase, but if these are 'caught' by a keen eye early, there's chance for less of hindrance.

But when delusions combine with other symptoms, patient may grow angry, may reeject thoughts that he or she is too far in his or her insanity. it's when he or she should be forcibly taken to hospital.

'warning symptoms' wary from patient to patient, but can be noticed.

These may be certain behaviors, usual pre-hospital delusional thought-patterns & verbal expressions said ... or nuisances in living.

Patient might be very uninclined to leave bed or home due to weakness in body or mind, or fear.

Patient might have disturbed sleep patterns more than usual or problems with sleep,

Patient might have increase in amount and/or lack of criticism toward his or her 'voices' (verbal hallucinations) or visions (visual hallucinations) or other hallucinations (smell, other senses),

Patient might also have greater lacks in concentration or memory, perhaps more as well.

'Strange' beliefs, especially fascination with religions, occult or esoterics might be (especially if this is new all of sudden, or far more intensified than usual) or might not be a warning symptom. Lack of common sense, distance & critic toward these is the clue as well.

As result as well as cause of symptoms might be patient refusing to take medicines or neglect scheduled visits to psychologist or psychiatrist.

Stress, or too much of work, especially if prolonged, is often the cause of symptoms advancing & increasing.

These 'warning symptoms' might not say that worst stage is incoming for sure however, so psychologist should be consulted first (a visit with a patient).