Symptoms Still.

i feel very tired since a time, have many voices in head that attack and insult me.

these voices blackmail and manipulate, use insane words and arguments - for example: 'Buddha wishes you to cease cleaning teeth for now'.

these voices are intense, persisting, and appear often, for long times, in large amounts.

they wear me down with constant attacks, then use insidious & clever tricks that make me do things harmful to myself & others when i feel weak & tired.

have troubles controlling spendings, voices make me spend money carelessly & meaninglessly.

i eat too much, i have troubles with cleaning my apartment.

i have troubles with caring enough for personal hygiene as well.

computer games addiction is making symptoms worse, i stopped playing computer games at least ... hope it will stay that way.

with my current state i can't go to work for now, despite that i want.

please wish me recovery, friends.

Symptoms Return.

recently i feel attacked by symptoms, mostly voices that insult & manipulate, harming as well.

i feel forced to write bad words, to do things that harm.

i have troubles keeping myself & my apartment clean as well.

had insight that it's because of others disrespecting & wanting to be 'better than insane person' in the wrong way.

i think many 'so called friends' hinder my progress more than help - they are not friends anymore - it's a Buddhist Lesson that friends, Bodhisattvas help in development instead.

i'll go to psychiatric hospital soon, for 3 months probably, not for the full day-night cycles however, only for half a day during workdays at that.

i hope i'll be able to work professionally in an IT Company after that - that's one of my therapy goals.

i'll try to beneficial at hospital to others, both patients & staff - it's a part of my Karmic Way for Enlightenment anyway - it's a Bodhisattva's Way, anyway.

Symptoms' causes.

i think in my case it's noise - including shouts, children's noises, or football's, and stress - including stress caused by eating too much.

also failing at hygiene or shaving.

but also the internet & computer games - especially online game named 'Narfell' - if done too much.


recently heard about omams, cause of visual or other hallucinations is malfunction of nervous system or brain.

certain nerves & synapses activate because of something else than intended, because of internal mind states for example, instead or not only because of hearing a real voice or seeing a real image.

Diagnosis is never valid forever, or what is Schizophrenia today.

Let's see what is Schizophrenia, and how paranoid it is.

Symptoms, or signs of illness:

Psychosomatic compulsion - urge, often irresistible to do or say, or even shout something against one's will.

Cleansing - epileptic symptoms, most severe when one thinks he's alone.

Fearlessness - no fear to certain level, except for fear of being alone.

Compulsory, irresistible laughing.

Severe computer games addiction.