Quality of Life.

... in the materialistic society, people are entangled in a rat-race for wealth, forgetting about quality of life.

Recently i've got support of a very good psychotherapist, from Beata Januszewska.

She prepares me for work, not only by contacting with a job advisor - but also - for better life.

She helps me to renovate my apartment, which was uncared for years, is in bad shape and has smells.

Smells of my apartment sticks to me and my clothing, making me smelly as well.

... in that state, i have troubles of finding Love and Employment.

... i need a strong female hand to recover from crisis, and she's that beneficial person who strongly supports me and helps.

She's quite efficient and merciless in abolishing my faults, she arranges for paint for my walls, for my new furniture - all without my financial involvement, for free.

This is not a small task at all, it's great support and help.

She also motivates me to clean apartment, to get rid of unneccessary things from my apartment, get dressed nicely, to be well shaved, with a nice haircut, to look and smell nice.

She's part of european union's empowerment program, that i can benefit from again.

With work alone i won't survive, i need far more to succeed in Love.

Thankfully, there are efforts for that as well.

My thanks for everyone involved, i think this program is needed to reactivate people and turn hopelessness into meaningful life.

i hope others will benefit as well - if you are deep in crisis, contact nearby psychologist and ask for POWER European Union's program - or other equvialents in Your nation or country. In nations other than Poland, this program is probably named differently.

... it's worth to try, i think.


See also if You wish: a Prayer for a Nice Look & Fragrance.

Insomnia.

i am unable to sleep again.

i think it's result of improper meditation, of our fellow buddhist 'friends'.

had insight that they wished to sleep earlier, and to have someone finish their chores during nights.

during night, i do not want to wake up a buddhist woman i love, even in mind.

i have almost no support during nights, i am weaker, hence it's time when i am vulnerable to be attacked, to be woken up and forced to work.

i think certain jerks take advantage of that.

i am unemployed, but this is not excuse for having to sleep irregularly - it destroys my sleep health habits, it makes me unable to function during days.

when i sleep irregularly i am unable to find and keep my work, it's feels as endless cycle of being unable to work, because i do not work already.

it's not fair to not let others sleep, prepare, find and keep paid work.

... dear fellow buddhist friends, please meditate better, and do your own chores by yourself.

if i keep waking up, i'll hate parts of my mind as well, and eventually people associated with these parts.

what occurs on mind level, awakens in speech and body later, afterall.

Within Walls.

Introduction.

Recent years i made many aspirations, wishes to improve, to be a better person.

Usually at first i had good results, then i hit obstacles - while my ego consciously wished for better, my unconscious self-complexes / complex is structure in psyche / opposed.

My bad karma surfaced, i was struggling between opposites - of high aspirations, and of these parts of my self that i prefer to reeject.


Ego has to die.

Like Ouroboros, Snake-Dragon eating it's tail to breed, ego has to die to make room for one's improvement.

Why is it so, if one's ego is striving for perfection?

Problem is that this perfection is imperfect still.

One is held between walls of one's own ego & one's self-complexes.

This is a crushing prison that blinds and hinders one's freedom.


'If you remain within arbitrary and artificially created boundaries, you will walk as between two high walls: you do not see the immensity of the world. But if you break down the walls that confine your view, and if the immensity and its endless uncertainty inspire you with fear, then the ancient sleeper awakens in you, whose messenger is the white bird. Then you need the message of the old tamer of chaos. There in the whirl of chaos dwells eternal wonder. Your world begins to become wonderful. Man belongs not only to an ordered world, he also belongs in the wonder-world of his soul. Consequently you must make your ordered world horrible, so that you are put off by being too much outside yourself.'

-- Quoted from 'The Red Book' by C.G. Jung.


See also, if You wish: Self and Ego.

Power of the Teams in a Mental Support.

Every person is different, we have brighter & darker parts of our personality.

Every person should be treated differently, uniquely.

Not every therapist can address every of a person's ill parts.

... it's like a candle that when set-up by a person, it will cast light, but also create a shadow.

... a light from one source won't reach all of dark corners of one's Mind.


But multiple lights from all directions can eliminate shadow much more completely.

... it's best to work in teams, therefore.


i think this thought is related with the Buddhist Vipassana Mind-Calming Meditation.