Symptoms Return.

recently i feel attacked by symptoms, mostly voices that insult & manipulate, harming as well.

i feel forced to write bad words, to do things that harm.

i have troubles keeping myself & my apartment clean as well.

had insight that it's because of others disrespecting & wanting to be 'better than insane person' in the wrong way.

i think many 'so called friends' hinder my progress more than help - they are not friends anymore - it's a Buddhist Lesson that friends, Bodhisattvas help in development instead.

i'll go to psychiatric hospital soon, for 3 months probably, not for the full day-night cycles however, only for half a day during workdays at that.

i hope i'll be able to work professionally in an IT Company after that - that's one of my therapy goals.

i'll try to beneficial at hospital to others, both patients & staff - it's a part of my Karmic Way for Enlightenment anyway - it's a Bodhisattva's Way, anyway.

Returning nature of Mental Illness.

Nature of Shizophrenia (one of many mental illnesses) or Psychosis (lesser form of Shizophrenia more or less) is that it periodically returns.

There are times of Remission (when symptoms are contained, when patient has control, distance & criticism over/toward these), as well the times of illness' symptoms returning with great strength.

Before most miserable state reached, there is the 'warning symptoms' stage usually (not always, occasionally there's very fast progress of symptoms' increase), where therapists, family, friends or even patient himself or herself can see the danger incoming.

'warning stage' is the time to see psychologist, time for temporarily increasing or even changing medicines if organism adapted to these, perhaps as well the time for lesser therapy to avert the worse case of lockdown in full-time hospital for a period of few months.

During this 'warning period' symptoms may gradually or sharply increase, but if these are 'caught' by a keen eye early, there's chance for less of hindrance.

But when delusions combine with other symptoms, patient may grow angry, may reeject thoughts that he or she is too far in his or her insanity. it's when he or she should be forcibly taken to hospital.

'warning symptoms' wary from patient to patient, but can be noticed.

These may be certain behaviors, usual pre-hospital delusional thought-patterns & verbal expressions said ... or nuisances in living.

Patient might be very uninclined to leave bed or home due to weakness in body or mind, or fear.

Patient might have disturbed sleep patterns more than usual or problems with sleep,

Patient might have increase in amount and/or lack of criticism toward his or her 'voices' (verbal hallucinations) or visions (visual hallucinations) or other hallucinations (smell, other senses),

Patient might also have greater lacks in concentration or memory, perhaps more as well.

'Strange' beliefs, especially fascination with religions, occult or esoterics might be (especially if this is new all of sudden, or far more intensified than usual) or might not be a warning symptom. Lack of common sense, distance & critic toward these is the clue as well.

As result as well as cause of symptoms might be patient refusing to take medicines or neglect scheduled visits to psychologist or psychiatrist.

Stress, or too much of work, especially if prolonged, is often the cause of symptoms advancing & increasing.

These 'warning symptoms' might not say that worst stage is incoming for sure however, so psychologist should be consulted first (a visit with a patient).

Pills or Psychologist?

when someone is mentally ill it's often best to combine both.

pills alone won't do all of the work,

there's the need for human interaction & psychology as well.

i think that mind calming meditation can help as well.

a minimum of activity is also neccessary, it's not enough to just go 'sleep through crisis'.

that's main reason why i play slightly involving computer games in a creative way.