Introduction.
Recent years i made many aspirations, wishes to improve, to be a better person.
Usually at first i had good results, then i hit obstacles - while my ego consciously wished for better, my unconscious self-complexes / complex is structure in psyche / opposed.
My bad karma surfaced, i was struggling between opposites - of high aspirations, and of these parts of my self that i prefer to reeject.
Ego has to die.
Like Ouroboros, Snake-Dragon eating it's tail to breed, ego has to die to make room for one's improvement.
Why is it so, if one's ego is striving for perfection?
Problem is that this perfection is imperfect still.
One is held between walls of one's own ego & one's self-complexes.
This is a crushing prison that blinds and hinders one's freedom.
'If you remain within arbitrary and artificially created boundaries, you will walk as between two high walls: you do not see the immensity of the world. But if you break down the walls that confine your view, and if the immensity and its endless uncertainty inspire you with fear, then the ancient sleeper awakens in you, whose messenger is the white bird. Then you need the message of the old tamer of chaos. There in the whirl of chaos dwells eternal wonder. Your world begins to become wonderful. Man belongs not only to an ordered world, he also belongs in the wonder-world of his soul. Consequently you must make your ordered world horrible, so that you are put off by being too much outside yourself.'
-- Quoted from 'The Red Book' by C.G. Jung.
See also, if You wish: Self and Ego.
